This Is Why We Don't Play Golf
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About This Is Why We Don't Play Golf
This Is Why We Don't Play Golf is a chaotic physics-based co-op platformer from Hmph. Studios, released on PC in December 2025. It reimagines golf as a wild, unpredictable adventure on a surreal mountain. The goal remains to hit a ball into a hole, but every swing is a gamble with glitchy physics, environmental hazards, and absurd obstacles. It’s a single-player or multiplayer experience where collaboration and frustration go hand in hand. The game leans into its messy charm, blending platforming, puzzle elements, and slapstick humor. If you’ve ever wanted to play golf while getting launched into lava or bounced by a rogue trampoline, this is your pick.
Gameplay
You control a golfer with comically unstable physics, navigating levels filled with floating hazards, shifting terrain, and baffling mechanics. Each level starts with a simple objective: get the ball in the hole. But the path there is anything but. Swings might send the ball careening into a spike pit or backfire into your own face. Multiplayer lets 2, 4 players take turns or work together, though teamwork is often undermined by the game’s trickery. Controls are simple, point, aim, swing, but execution is tough. The camera often disorients you, and physics collisions feel like a drunk AI’s idea of fun. Sessions are short bursts of trial and error, with each death or miss a setup for the next chaotic swing.
What Players Think
The PlayPile community gives it 4.3/5, with 72% of players completing the core campaign. Average playtime is 8.5 hours, though 120 achievements encourage replay. Community moods skew chaotic and hilarious: 68% “laughed until I cried,” 55% “frustrated but hooked.” Critics praise its “messy but addictive” design, with one review calling it “golf as a metaphor for life’s absurdity.” The game’s price of $29.99 (currently 20% off) draws praise for value, though some note it’s short for the cost. Multiplayer co-op is highlighted as a standout, with 42% of players logging sessions with friends. Achievements lean toward completionist challenges, like hitting the ball into every lava pit.
PlayPile's Take
This game is a love letter to chaos. It’s best for fans of cooperative mayhem or those who enjoy games that mock their own logic. The $29.99 price tag is fair for the laughs it delivers, though the short campaign might leave some wanting more. Achievements add longevity, but don’t expect a polished experience. If you’re okay with getting annoyed, confused, and occasionally delighted in equal measure, give it a shot. It’s not a golf sim, it’s a physics joke that plays itself.
Game Modes
Single player, Multiplayer, Co-operative
Achievements
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