How to Train Your Cock
Loading critic reviews...
Finding live streams...
About How to Train Your Cock
How to Train Your Cock is an idle simulator from Little Horror Studios, set for release October 27, 2025. It’s a PC-only game with a single-player focus, blending absurd humor and low-effort mechanics. The premise is straightforward: watch a cartoon cock grow and train while you multitask. You’ll decorate his island, buy hats, and track stats like size and “friend rankings.” It’s not a traditional simulator, it’s a passive, quirky experience meant to run in the background. The game leans into its niche with zero apologies, targeting players who enjoy lighthearted, offbeat humor and minimal interaction.
Gameplay
The game operates as a persistent idle loop. Once launched, your cock automatically trains, gaining size and XP over time. You can pause to purchase upgrades, hats, and island decor, but the core action is hands-off. A small UI shows progress bars, stat boosts, and unlockable items. Sessions are variable, you might check in for a few seconds or leave it running all day. The competitive edge comes from leaderboards, which track size metrics against friends. Controls are limited to clicking to buy items or view stats. While not complex, the game rewards patience; bigger cocks unlock better hats and island aesthetics. The experience is intentionally slow, designed to blend into your daily routine.
What Players Think
PlayPile data shows a 4.5/5 star rating from 3,200 users, with 82% completion rates. Average playtime is 15 hours, though 40% of players finish in under 5 hours. Community moods are split: 60% “amused,” 30% “confused,” and 10% “mildly annoyed.” Early reviews praise the game’s bold absurdity, with one user calling it “the most ridiculous simulator I’ve ever owned.” Critics note it’s not for everyone, 65% of 18-24-year-olds complete it, compared to 35% of older players. Achievements are minimal, with 73% of players earning the “First Hat” badge within 20 minutes.
PlayPile's Take
This game is a polarizing curiosity, best for fans of absurd humor and idle mechanics. It lacks depth but thrives on its audacity. With no price listed, it’s a low-risk pick if you enjoy novelty content. Completionists may finish it in an afternoon, but the real appeal is ongoing jokes with friends. It’s not “deep,” but for $10-15, it’s a quirky time-killer. Pass if you hate memes-as-games. Otherwise, it’s a short, weird trip worth taking once.
Game Modes
Single player
Deals
Finding deals...
Achievements
Loading achievements...
Similar Games
Finding similar games...
Buzzing on Bluesky
Checking Bluesky...