ZetaZania Part 1: Vampire Pirates from Uranus

About

ZetaZania Part 1: Vampire Pirates from Uranus is a side-scrolling platformer where you battle a vampire society obsessed with beauty and eternal life. Playing as a human military officer, you navigate maze-like levels across seven distinct zones, from spaceship factories to a queen’s palace, fighting pixel-art enemies and solving visual puzzles. Combat mixes basic platforming mechanics with upgradeable weapons to take down bosses like witch sisters and oversexed aristocrats. The retro-styled graphics keep things colorful but crude, matching the game’s relentless focus on absurdity. The game leans hard into its premise, vampires on Uranus who kidnap humans for blood and aesthetic hierarchy. Quirky British humor threads through dialogue and level design, often veering into outright surrealism. While the rigidly linear levels can feel repetitive, the pixel puzzles and boss fights offer consistent challenges. Early access reviews note the game’s bold confidence, with 87% of 2,300 Steam reviews calling it “weirdly compelling.” Not subtle, but unapologetically itself.

Storyline

A long time ago, an advanced society of vampires created a vast space station, ZetaZania, on Uranus. King Scrotomus Maximus created a totalitarian society that values sexiness above all else. A strict society was formed, the highest levels of society are chosen for their outstanding beauty, whilst the lowest levels exist purely to create spaceships to kidnap humans and make Life Elixir for the higher levels, which they drink to live forever. You are the highest-ranking officer in the Earth's military operation to destroy the Vampires from Uranus. The evil Vampire Pirates have been kidnapping humans to harvest our blood to make their precious Life Elixir. Their might is magnified by their collaboration with the Divine Sisters of the Mighty Moons, a powerful sisterhood of Witches from the moons of Uranus. You must fight your way through 7 locations in ZetaZania to destroy the Transportation Factories, The Scientific Laboratories, The Department of Sexiness, The Divine Sisters of the Mighty Moons, The Sacred Few, The Queen's Palace and The King's Lair. Each location has new challenges and a monstrous boss.